gratitude

Thankfulness for 2020

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This year, instead of sending a Christmas letter, I decided to jump on the early bird train and send a “Thanksgiving Letter,” because despite all the curveballs from 2020, there is a lot to be thankful for! This is the letter I sent out to several people but also wanted to have it digitally right here to share with those I was unable to send letters to this year. I want to tell you about 20 things I’m thankful for this year, and I pray this will encourage you to end your year with gratitude too!

1. New Washer: Our washer broke in January. One of our friends came to look at it, and was going to order the right pieces for us and fix it. Instead, his family bought us a brand new washer AND installed it for us! This may seem small, but I am thankful for this family and the way they loved me and my roommates!

2. Spin Weekend: We were able to have our annual spring student event, SPIN, in March a few weeks before the pandemic hit Texas. That was one of our last times seeing our students, and I am so grateful for that weekend together!

3. Roommates and Movie Marathons: Once the pandemic hit, my roommates (Shelby and Margie) and I watched over 40 movies! I am grateful for their friendship, willingness to eat popcorn every night, and for their grace during quarantine.

4. Loving Neighbors: One blessing the pandemic provided was the opportunity for me, my roommates, and a few of our other friends to meet our neighbors, pray with them, and have spiritual conversations with them. Even in the midst of a pandemic, we were invited in for hours to talk with people who were really lonely, several who were sick, and many who were struggling during this season. We had frequent conversations with our closest neighbors, but knocked on almost every door in our apartment complex over the span of a few months. I am grateful for these friends to love neighbors with, the conversations we got to have, & the men and women who trusted Jesus!

5. Sabbath Rhythms: This quarantine season honestly gave me a great opportunity to truly practice sabbath. I know I haven’t “nailed it” yet, but I am thankful for the new mercies each week to practice sabbath rest and trust the Lord deeper.

6. Parents 30 Year Anniversary: On June 9, my parents celebrate 30 years of marriage! Although I didn’t get to be there in person to celebrate with them, I am incredibly grateful for the ways their marriage is an example of faithfulness, devotion, service, and humility. They love God, each other, and others with the deepest love, and I am proud to call them my parents! Congrats mom and dad!

7. TVC Residency Program: I began the Residency Program at The Village Church in the Fall of 2019 and completed it this spring! This program grew me in uncountable ways, including challenging me in how many books I could physically read in a year! We had in depth conversations about culture, postmodernism, theology, and the church. I am thankful for the challenge and the ways I was pushed to be a deeper disciple of Jesus.

8. Backpacking Trip: With all of our student summer events canceled, this gave me the opportunity to plan a backpacking trip with a few friends! None of us had backpacked before, which made for an interesting trip! You can read about this trip (and the many other hiking adventures I’ve had recently) on my blog under the “Adventures” tab. But, I am thankful for these adventure friends and the opportunity to be in the middle of nature with them!

9. Accepted Job at Storyline Fellowship: In August, I began a new job as the student minister at Storyline Fellowship in Arvada, Colorado. It was not an easy thing to apply for this job, simply because I loved my community, my friends, and my coworkers so much at The Village Church. This decision took weeks of fasting, prayer, and guidance from others. I am thankful for the ways the Lord showed me more of Himself during these stressful few weeks and the clarity He provided through it all. Although I deeply miss the students, my coworkers, my roommates, the families, and my close community in Texas, I know this is exactly where God wants me, & for that I am grateful. Also, I love my new job a whole lot!

10. Mom Healed from Cancer! My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer on the first week the pandemic hit. So yeah, it was a rough week. On the day I accepted the position at Storyline, my mom also went in for her last treatment and is doing great! I am thankful for the ways the Lord guided her, provided friends around her to love and support her when Austin and I could not be near, and brought her healing through incredible doctors. And I’m grateful that cancer has been defeated in her life, & prayerful it will not return!!

11. My Texas Family: There are several families that impacted me during my time in Texas & invited me in. But I have some favorite little people who I love deeply & miss daily (pictured below). I am grateful for my 5 years in Texas, all God taught me, & the people I call my family.

12. Moved in a Pandemic: My friends who were planning on driving the moving truck with me ended up getting Covid two days before we left. That led to a day of panic about how I was going to move to Colorado, followed with sadness that I wouldn’t get to see them before I left. Yet, the Lord provided two other friends who were willing to drive for 13 hours straight with a moving van across three states! I am thankful for these friends and their willingness to go on a spontaneous moving trip with me!

13. Hiked My 14th 14er: I was able to hike four 14ers (mountains over 14,000 ft) this summer, reaching number 14 on my list! My goal remains to hike all 58, & now that I’m back in Colorado, I hope this goal will come sooner than later! I’m thankful for the friends who hiked 14ers with me this summer, the majesty of God I get to see from that altitude, & for the physical ability to hike. I never want to take that for granted, so I’m thankful for a healthy body this year!

14. New Roommates and New Traditions: Upon moving to Colorado, that meant I needed new roommates and a place to live. Praise the Lord for two other single girls, who both moved from Texas and The Village, and who were looking for roommates! Caitie and Lindsay have quickly become great friends and I am so thankful for the community they have provided during this transition and continued pandemic. We also have started a tradition of getting up early on Saturday mornings (mostly to beat the crowd and be more efficient… can you tell we are all enneagram 1’s?!) and go on a nice long hike! So if you’re in town on a Saturday & want to get up early, you know where to find us!

15. Early Snow: We got hit with early snow in September and it made my heart happy! Again, this may seem like a little thing to mention, but it’s something I am grateful for! The snow seems to bring with it this sense of peace and the remove of urgency to be everywhere and do everything. Plus, it’s been really fun teaching my Texas roommates about all things Colorado, preparing for winter, and how to shovel a driveway!

16. Community: In Texas, I cherished living within walking distance of a lot of people I knew, spent time with, and loved. And yet, I remembered moving to Texas a little over five years ago and having no community at first. God answered that prayer over time as I lived there! Moving back to Colorado has led me to pray for the same thing! I am thankful for the community God provided in Texas, especially during a pandemic, & for the community he has provided here in families who moved from Texas at the same time!

17. Family Visited: My brother (Austin) and sister-in-law (Jenna) came to visit for two whole weeks in October! That was a really sweet and unexpected gift since Hawaii has been in full lock down for most of the year. I’m grateful they were able to come and spend a few weeks here with us, & thankful for the ways they encourage me, along with all the fun we have together.

18. Student Came to Faith: During the second month of my job, I got to see the Lord save one of our students and totally transform her life! I’m grateful to be on the front row of seeing all God is doing in the lives of students in Arvada!

19. No Instagram: I took a year off from Instagram (except the one week in August to announce I was moving) and it has been wonderful! I am thankful for the ways this has led me to be more present with those around me & less concerned about getting the perfect picture and caption everywhere I go.

20. YOU! Last but not least, I am grateful for you! Thank you for reading this post and many other posts from this year! I pray that these have been an encouragement to you and a little glimpse into my life while I take a break from Instagram! And I hope this list encourages you to make your own list of things to be grateful for from this crazy year!

Stay around for more posts in the future and follow my blog using the links below so you won’t miss a post! Until then, Happy Thanksgiving!

I will give thanks to the Lord with my whole heart; I will recount all of your wonderful deeds.

Psalm 9:1 (ESV)

Belford and Oxford.

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This post is a continuation of our backpacking experience, but it also stands alone as a play-by-play of our double 14er day hike up Mt Belford and Mt Oxford.

We woke up pretty early after a shorter night of sleep due to our lack of planning and a strenuous night hike into our camping location the night before. Because of this, our group split up and two of us went on the adventure for the day while the others spent the day resting and enjoying the fresh mountain air.

We began at 7:28am from our campsite, which was right below the treeline at about 11,000 feet elevation. This is the latest I’ve ever started a 14er, but we also were technically almost halfway up it already! It was an additional bonus to be able to hike during the daylight for the entire trek!

We made it to the first summit (Mt. Belford) by 9:45am, which is a 2 hour 17 minute time. It was faster than I was expecting us to go, but it felt nice to have one mountain down before 10am…and before the wind picked up.

Mt. Belford – 14,197ft. My 11th Colorado 14er.

We enjoyed some PB&J uncrustables at the top (which always taste the best on top of a mountain for whatever reason), and then started down the saddle towards our second mountain for the day, Mt. Oxford. The saddle took us just over an hour to complete (summiting at 11:30am), and it was extremely windy. The wind was the hardest and worst part of the day since it never really let up and we were completely exposed on the tops of the mountains and on the saddle.

Mt. Oxford – 14,153ft. My 12th Colorado 14er.

At the top of Mt. Oxford there is a small hole that you can sit in to be protected from the wind. This gave us a chance to catch our breath and consider how incredible the views are from the top of the world… as well as consider the goodness of the Lord knowing that every peak we could see belongs to Him!

For the Lord is the great God,
    the great King above all gods.
 In his hand are the depths of the earth,
    and the mountain peaks belong to him.

Psalm 95:3-4 (NIV)
One of my favorite pictures from our hike!

The only bummer about the Belford/Oxford combo is that you have to hike back up Belford in order to get down. There is no other way. So technically, we hiked three 14ers in one day. 😉

(The saddle. The trail is on the ridge on the left side of the picture. This is a picture taken from Oxford looking across to Belford. The Belford summit is the tallest point in the picture, which is the circular rock area at the center of the photo.)

We began the hike down the saddle and back over to Belford at 12pm and made it just under an hour, faster than our way over which we were impressed with! The backside of Belford is a beast! It is one of the steepest hikes I’ve done, making it difficult for both the way up and the way down.

Once we arrived at the summit of Belford for the second time, we took a nice, long break, enjoyed some food, talked with others who had just made it to the summit, took in the incredible views, and let the sun warm up our faces. The sun felt so nice after being in the wind for so long. We took our sweet time up there knowing that we only had a few hours left and it would likely be in the wind…again.

We began our descent at 1:46pm and made it to the campsite by 3:38pm, just under 2 hours. Our total time on the mountain was 8 hours and 10 minutes, though our actual hiking time was 6 hours and 23 minutes.

Overall, this was a great day of hiking and we kept an awesome pace all day. We also saw a TON of marmots and the tiniest chipmunks you have ever seen! This was a really fun addition to our day! The marmots seemed to be continually following us up the mountain and we were totally okay with that!

At the end of the day, here are some words we used to describe our hike: Difficult. Majestic. Hard. Content. Achieving. Perspective. Thankful.

Everytime I make it to the top of another 14er, I am filled with feelings of gratitude and awe. Gratitude for those who make the journey with me. Gratitude for God to give us mountains to climb, legs to walk, and lungs to breath (even if it’s very minimal amounts of oxygen). Gratitude for surviving at least half of the hike. Gratitude for being able to experience a view that very few people ever get the opportunity to see with their own eyes. And awe that God allows us to experience His creation at this level.

Mountains make me feel small and remind me that God is big! They show me that God is majestic. I was reading in J.I. Packer’s book Knowing God this week and he says, “The word majesty, when applied to God, is always a declaration of his greatness and an invitation to worship.” This is what the mountains do. They declare the greatness of God and invite us to worship Him because of this greatness!

Today, I’m thankful for friends who hike mountains with me for over 8 hours, and a God who is gracious and kind towards us in allowing us to experience His creation at new levels!

Being Grounded in Gratitude.

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We are all in a season of loss. There are lot of things around us we are losing amidst “shelter-in-place” orders, sickness, and uncertainties of the future. Some of us may be experiencing more loss than others, but we know the feeling of loss well, especially right now.

Maybe the loss you are experiencing is present…loss of connecting with community, loss of physical touch if you live by yourself, loss of sanity if you are now both mom and teacher, or loss of a job. Maybe the loss you are experiencing is future oriented…no future securities, postponed weddings, or canceled vacations. But whatever the losses you are experiencing are, they are significant and the Lord sees those things that you have had to give up or have been taken from you over the last few weeks.

I was listening to a study on anxiety the other day and they were talking about how the brain works… which, side note, I think the brain is fascinating and if you have any good books that are not super technical, I would love to read those!! Anyways, they were saying that the pathways used in our brains that indicate anxiety, worry, and stress are the same ones used for gratitude and thanksgiving! So it’s actually impossible to be anxious and grateful at the same time.

I started to think about that, and was curious, “Is that really true? Can I experience a feeling of anxiety while I’m also experiencing gratitude?” And as I thought I about this, I came to the conclusion that this is true!

Now I know that there are a LOT of types of anxiety and that anxiety can also be a clinical diagnosis which requires medication and professional help. I think medication and professional help are both good and right places to go in the midst of anxiety. And I encourage my friends who experience this deep, clinical level of anxiety to use those good graces given to us for help. This is good and right.

I also think that there is something behind the science of our brains and that gratitude is a really helpful thing to consider. We can be grounded in gratitude because it reorients our minds to focus on the things that are truly important. We are forced, in gratitude, to look beyond our present situation or circumstance. We are required to shift our emotions to be grateful, even if it’s just for a moment.

Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.

Romans 12:12

So in this season of uncertainty and loss, I encourage you to be grateful. Begin and end each day with writing down something you are grateful for. Try to be specific. Instead of being thankful for “another day” be specific about what you are thankful for. Maybe it’s that the sunshine feels warm on your skin. Or maybe you are thankful for the time you have today to watch a movie with your roommates and relax with them. Maybe you are thankful for the trees that are blossoming outside your window because they remind you that God is still at work and continues to care for even the trees and flowers.

Be grateful. And let your mind, emotions, and experiences in this world be grounded in gratitude. Spending time in thanksgiving does something to your brain, and through I don’t know all the specific scientific terms and chemistry dynamics, I know that change happens because I experience a changed mindset and renewed perspective in the midst of gratitude.

So if you feel anxious today about another day doing the same things again in your home, or you feel that deep sense of loss as you cancel yet another plan you were looking forward to, stop and take a moment to be grateful. Let gratitude ground you in what is true as the Lord of heaven and earth refocuses your mind on His eternal Kingdom and forever reign!

Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

1 Thessalonians 5:18

The Antidote of Comparison.

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I’m sure you have driven through a tunnel before. Well, my family used to play this game when we drove through tunnels where we would try to hold our breath all the way through the tunnel until we could see the sky again. It’s easy if you go through a short tunnel. But road trips always seemed to lead to the super long tunnel where you can’t see the end and your stuck holding your breath until the end, giving up early, or just pretending you held it the whole way but secretly breathing through your nose the whole time! …That’s what I did! 😉

I think we feel like we are in tunnels often. Not real tunnels, but tunnels in our mind. Social media, the internet, and really anything that captivates our attention quickly, pulls us into a tunnel that is hard to get out of.

And I’m sure you have felt this before. You look up at the clock after what seemed like five minutes, and it’s an hour and half later. And all you’ve done is scroll, scroll, and scroll on your device.

Often when we find ourselves in a tunnel, we are easily drawn to comparison. We keep scrolling because we want to see who else we can compare ourselves too. Sometimes it’s out of a desire to become more like that person (or at least their post) and other times it’s out of a desire to prove yourself better than others. Either way, comparison pulls you into a tunnel that is hard to escape.

I recently wrote a blog about comparison, noting that gratitude is the antidote of comparison. I believe that gratitude is the way out of the tunnel of comparison that we too often find ourselves trapped in.

Each night before I go to bed, I write down one thing I’m thankful for on a sticky note and put it on the back of my bedroom door. This can be a person, a thing, an event …really anything! The trick is, I have to come up with something new each day! So I can’t write down “Fridays” every time it’s Friday since that word is already on my door. Ending my day with gratitude helps me remember what is important in life and to spend time being thankful instead of comparing myself to others.

The reason why I think gratitude, out of all things, is what combats comparison is because of what comparison is and the effects it has on us as human beings. Comparison is when we look at someone else and see either something we want or something we are glad we don’t have, which leads us to coveting and judgment of others. Comparison also shows a lack of true identity. Comparison eats away at our time, our money, our desires, and orients us to false stories. When we compare ourselves to others, we are not taking time to be grateful for the things God has given to us. Instead, we are believing that God has not given us what is sufficient to have in life, or He has messed up on us. Comparison begins to cause us to have a judgmental spirit towards others, leading us to unkindness, envy, bitterness, anger, and so much more.

There are an incredible amount of verses in the Bible about gratitude, so I don’t need to go through them all here. But one of my favorites will do this point justice.

Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

God tells us in His word exactly what His will for us is! And that is to rejoice! To Pray! And to give thanks! If we have a sure and grounded identity in God, knowing that He made us in His image in the exact way He designed from the beginning, we can trust that He made us different than others for a purpose! And because of that, we can give thanks. This is part of our purpose as humans! Instead of spending time scroll on Instagram, seeing all the things you wish you had, and seeing how you measure up to others, God tells us to rejoice, pray, and give thanks in all things.

Spend some time this week looking up verses on gratitude. And then start a journal where you write down something you are thankful for each day. Taking time out of your day to give thanks to God for His good gifts is something well worth your time. And I can tell you from experience, gratitude is something that changes my perspective, encourages me when I’m feeling down, insignificant, or insufficient, and keeps me grounded to what is true.

The Comparison Trap.

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Comparison is a trap. It does not lead to life or truth in anyway. Comparison causes us to look at what other people have, who they are, and what they do and then tell ourselves, “I am not enough because I am not like them!”

Comparison is a problem. It’s a big problem because it traps us in a cycle of believing lies about ourselves and often about others too. When we compare ourselves to others, we are ultimately telling God, our creator, that He messed up in some way and we are not pleased with that.

Social media heightens the awareness and accessibility of comparison. We can instantly compare ourselves to hundreds of people, both those we do life with and those we have never met. We can see their best moments, their newest things, and their fanciest vacations. It is easy to get sucked into a social media binge, looking at all the things the “rest of the people” have that you do not.

Comparison pulls us down. It leads to depression, overspending, excessive desires, and controlling thoughts. It leads us to believe that we need more things, we need to do more things, and we need to be more. Comparison tells us that we can be better than the person next to us if we just try a little harder.

Do you see the trap yet? You probably didn’t need to read this to instinctively feel the trap I’m talking about. We’ve all felt this trap because we have all had times of feeling like we are not enough because of our perception of others.

God does not want us to live in this world trapped. He created us for freedom! He created us in unique ways, with specific gifts, and placed us in distinct places for certain times. He is not unaware of those around you and the gifts He gave them too.

For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.

Psalm 139:13-14 (ESV)

So today, consider how you are comparing yourself to others. What is causing comparison? Is there something you can avoid (like social media) to help you not compare yourself to others?

And then be thankful! I try to end each day in gratitude by writing down one specific thing I am grateful for that day. Gratitude is the antidote to comparison. More on that in a future post! … 🙂