prayer

Transitions.

moremarshLeave a comment

“How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.”

-Winnie the Pooh

Moving is always hard because it is always filled with mixed emotions.

As I have considered my transition from Texas back to Colorado, I’ve thought, “Why is this move so hard?” And then I’ve realized that it’s because this was an unexpected transition. Every other move I have made has come at the end of something significant with a specific and known end date. For example, when I graduated High School and moved to Oklahoma for college. There was a specific date that high school would end and college would begin. The same thing happened at the end of college. Those goodbyes were hard, but we were expecting them to be hard for months. We had time to prepare for goodbyes, craft all the right words, and do all of the best things together before the transition hit.

This time it was different. This time the transition was not predicted or expected. It was not something that was set to hit after being in one place for five years. That means that all of those emotions hit in new ways. I have had days where I’m flooded with emotions and have been so sad to not be around “my people” anymore. I had to say goodbye to people that I love in big groups and in ways where I simply didn’t have the words to express everything they mean to me.

Leaving a place you love is hard. …But to be honest, I never really “loved” Texas like true Texans do. What is truly hard about leaving is the people. I love the people I have grown to know over the past five years. And they know me. To be known and loved is an incredible feeling.

During my last few weeks and days leading up to the big move, many people expressed how excited I must be to get to be close to my family again. That is very true. I am so excited to be close to my parents again after nine years away (and maybe one day my brother and sister-in-law will join us too…). But my family is also in Texas. I have lived with several families, spent uncountable meals with others, been to all the big events (graduations, recitals, games) with others, and with some, it’s simply been living normal life with them and doing everyday things. And that is family. Those people are my family. They are my brothers and sisters, my nieces and nephews…my family. They invited me into everyday things and let me be part of their immediate family while I was away from my immediate family.

And to those individuals, families, parents, and children… I am forever grateful. They are the family I will miss living back in Colorado. They are the family I will miss going to the grocery store with, stopping by their homes on walks, and eating meals around their tables.

If you have experienced a move recently, or maybe you have had a close friend move away recently, I encourage you to continue in steadfast prayer for one another. Remember that God has not changed and He is still the same God no matter what location you live in or who lives close to you. He is a God we can trust in the transitions, laments, and everything in between. He provides all that we need, even new friends and family. …But he has also given us technology and Facetime, so use that as a good grace during and after transitions 😉

To my Texas Family, I love you. I miss you. And I am grateful for you.

I thank my God in all my remembrance of you, always in every prayer of mine for you all making my prayer with joy, because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now. And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.

Philippians 1:3-6 (ESV)

The Mountains Are Calling.

moremarsh6 Comments

I grew up in Fort Collins, Colorado and loved my childhood. It included building snow-forts, sledding down our neighborhood hill, playing baseball in our backyard, running cross country at my high school, and countless friends enjoying our basement, which was full of games and adventure!

I don’t think I really realized the joy of living in Colorado until I left for college. I went to school at Oklahoma Baptist University to run on their track and cross country team. I loved my team and have some great memories from that place. But the question I got every time I met someone new was, “Why did you leave Colorado?”

My mom always said the same thing. Both of my parents grew up in Texas and much of our family still lives there. We moved from Texas to Colorado when I was four, so I don’t really remember much of Texas.

I ended up back in Texas after college to work at The Village Church in the middle school ministry. It was a dream job! I have felt called to student ministry since my senior year of college. That’s when I began to look for internships at churches so I could learn more about life in ministry and gain some hands on experience. Joining the staff at The Village was an incredible opportunity to grow, learn, and get the experience I needed.

I intended to only be in Dallas for the one year internship and then move again. But God had different plans. He allowed me to stay, grow, and be planted there for five years, almost exactly to the day.

During those five years I grew in my understanding of God and in my experience as a Bible teacher, and I grew to deeply love the Church, Christ’s Bride. I also went through trials during these years, like anxiety and depression, loss of friendships, and difficult health issues. Yet, God also allowed me to get to know some incredible people I would call family for the rest of my life.

Towards the end of last year (around October) I started to feel the Lord calling me into something new but I wasn’t sure what it was. I thought it was a new season at TVC, but once Covid hit, I thought maybe it was simply a different pace in student ministry and a time to rest. I continued to feel like the Lord was asking me to transition, but I was unsure what door He would open.

As summer began (and all of our events were canceled for students) I had some time in Colorado planned. My first trip was a backpacking trip with some friends. During this trip, I was able to spend some time asking God what He was doing in my life and where He wanted me to walk. Was it something new at TVC? Was it something new with students? Was it in a new place? I returned from that trip with a lot of questions and very few answers.

“Go to the place I will send you.”

I began to pray and fast, seeking more specific answers from God. And slowly, the Lord opened up doors. I was still really confused on what to do specifically and what he was doing, mostly because there seemed to be two really great doors opened to me.

When you come to a crossroad in life, what do you do? Well, if you are like me, you are first grateful for the options but also terrified of choosing the wrong one. Because of this, I needed some time and space to process and pray. I didn’t want to stay or go or move at all unless the Lord was in it.

So I prayed.

And prayed.

And prayed.

I asked some close friends to pray with and for me.

And then I prayed some more.

Slowly, He began to remind me of my childhood, of a people I love, of the place I go every time I get a free weekend and friend willing to join an adventure. He began to open up doors for a move back to my home state, just one hour from home.

This is a sweet gift. One I did not accept lightly. It was the most difficult decision I have had to make to this day. And yet, God was in it all. He guided me through conversations with others and by His word. He led me beside quiet waters to restore me and remind me that I belong to Him. He led me as a good shepherd does, reminding me that no matter where I go, He is the same God.

It was hard to say goodbye to friends in Texas, and even harder to say goodbye to those friends I call family. But I know that we still worship the same God. I know that God is still with them even when I can’t be there with them physically. I trust that God will watch over them just as He is watching over me.

Overall, I am grateful even amidst the sad and hard goodbyes. I’m grateful because God led me back to a place my heart has desired to go, to minister to a people a long to see redeemed, and to a place I feel the closest to God. He has called me to this place and given me a confidence that this is where I am to be planted right now.

My prayer for Colorado (and Arvada) is that they would know the God who molded the mountains, formed the forests, and spoke the stars into being. My prayer is that the people of Colorado would not just enjoy His creation but would recognize that there is a Creator, who also made them.

Would you join me in praying for this people (my neighbors) to know, love, and worship the one true God?! He is more than able! I am confident that He has called me and others to this place to be ministers of the gospel here, and to bring hope to a dark and dying world. I am eager to see God work and excited to join all that He is doing!

‘Ah, Lord GOD! It is you who have made the heavens and the earth by your great power and by your outstretched arm! Nothing is too hard for you.

Jeremiah 32:17 (ESV)