Social Media

The Antidote of Comparison.

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I’m sure you have driven through a tunnel before. Well, my family used to play this game when we drove through tunnels where we would try to hold our breath all the way through the tunnel until we could see the sky again. It’s easy if you go through a short tunnel. But road trips always seemed to lead to the super long tunnel where you can’t see the end and your stuck holding your breath until the end, giving up early, or just pretending you held it the whole way but secretly breathing through your nose the whole time! …That’s what I did! 😉

I think we feel like we are in tunnels often. Not real tunnels, but tunnels in our mind. Social media, the internet, and really anything that captivates our attention quickly, pulls us into a tunnel that is hard to get out of.

And I’m sure you have felt this before. You look up at the clock after what seemed like five minutes, and it’s an hour and half later. And all you’ve done is scroll, scroll, and scroll on your device.

Often when we find ourselves in a tunnel, we are easily drawn to comparison. We keep scrolling because we want to see who else we can compare ourselves too. Sometimes it’s out of a desire to become more like that person (or at least their post) and other times it’s out of a desire to prove yourself better than others. Either way, comparison pulls you into a tunnel that is hard to escape.

I recently wrote a blog about comparison, noting that gratitude is the antidote of comparison. I believe that gratitude is the way out of the tunnel of comparison that we too often find ourselves trapped in.

Each night before I go to bed, I write down one thing I’m thankful for on a sticky note and put it on the back of my bedroom door. This can be a person, a thing, an event …really anything! The trick is, I have to come up with something new each day! So I can’t write down “Fridays” every time it’s Friday since that word is already on my door. Ending my day with gratitude helps me remember what is important in life and to spend time being thankful instead of comparing myself to others.

The reason why I think gratitude, out of all things, is what combats comparison is because of what comparison is and the effects it has on us as human beings. Comparison is when we look at someone else and see either something we want or something we are glad we don’t have, which leads us to coveting and judgment of others. Comparison also shows a lack of true identity. Comparison eats away at our time, our money, our desires, and orients us to false stories. When we compare ourselves to others, we are not taking time to be grateful for the things God has given to us. Instead, we are believing that God has not given us what is sufficient to have in life, or He has messed up on us. Comparison begins to cause us to have a judgmental spirit towards others, leading us to unkindness, envy, bitterness, anger, and so much more.

There are an incredible amount of verses in the Bible about gratitude, so I don’t need to go through them all here. But one of my favorites will do this point justice.

Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

God tells us in His word exactly what His will for us is! And that is to rejoice! To Pray! And to give thanks! If we have a sure and grounded identity in God, knowing that He made us in His image in the exact way He designed from the beginning, we can trust that He made us different than others for a purpose! And because of that, we can give thanks. This is part of our purpose as humans! Instead of spending time scroll on Instagram, seeing all the things you wish you had, and seeing how you measure up to others, God tells us to rejoice, pray, and give thanks in all things.

Spend some time this week looking up verses on gratitude. And then start a journal where you write down something you are thankful for each day. Taking time out of your day to give thanks to God for His good gifts is something well worth your time. And I can tell you from experience, gratitude is something that changes my perspective, encourages me when I’m feeling down, insignificant, or insufficient, and keeps me grounded to what is true.

The Comparison Trap.

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Comparison is a trap. It does not lead to life or truth in anyway. Comparison causes us to look at what other people have, who they are, and what they do and then tell ourselves, “I am not enough because I am not like them!”

Comparison is a problem. It’s a big problem because it traps us in a cycle of believing lies about ourselves and often about others too. When we compare ourselves to others, we are ultimately telling God, our creator, that He messed up in some way and we are not pleased with that.

Social media heightens the awareness and accessibility of comparison. We can instantly compare ourselves to hundreds of people, both those we do life with and those we have never met. We can see their best moments, their newest things, and their fanciest vacations. It is easy to get sucked into a social media binge, looking at all the things the “rest of the people” have that you do not.

Comparison pulls us down. It leads to depression, overspending, excessive desires, and controlling thoughts. It leads us to believe that we need more things, we need to do more things, and we need to be more. Comparison tells us that we can be better than the person next to us if we just try a little harder.

Do you see the trap yet? You probably didn’t need to read this to instinctively feel the trap I’m talking about. We’ve all felt this trap because we have all had times of feeling like we are not enough because of our perception of others.

God does not want us to live in this world trapped. He created us for freedom! He created us in unique ways, with specific gifts, and placed us in distinct places for certain times. He is not unaware of those around you and the gifts He gave them too.

For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.

Psalm 139:13-14 (ESV)

So today, consider how you are comparing yourself to others. What is causing comparison? Is there something you can avoid (like social media) to help you not compare yourself to others?

And then be thankful! I try to end each day in gratitude by writing down one specific thing I am grateful for that day. Gratitude is the antidote to comparison. More on that in a future post! … 🙂

Why Break from Social Media?

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Social media seems to have taken over the world in the last few years. 90% of millennials use social media daily, with averages at 1-2 hours a day. I see this especially in my own life as my world often seems to revolve around social media platforms (mostly facebook and instagram). I’ve always been one of the last of my friends to get on the newest technology and social media feeds, and yet, I see a problem in my own life. Social media can quickly become an idol that we worship as god, give our best time to, and believe gives us life, rest, and fulfillment.

But it doesn’t.

I remember getting an Instagram account and my first iPhone my senior year of college. I know, a little late to the game, but I really loved my little flip phone! I knew my friends were tired of having green messages on their phones and there were a lot of new, helpful things that iPhones did that my little flip phone could not. So, like any good millennial, I gave in and got the iPhone…and along with it, Instagram.

Both of these things have been wonderful parts of my life and have made life a lot easier in so many ways. I don’t have to have a GPS system in my car because my phone has one. I don’t have to keep a paper calendar because my phone has one. I don’t have to live close to my best friends to see what their lives are like because of Instagram. I can keep track of my runs and workouts easily. I can also store music and podcasts in one place, and everything is on one device! There are clearly a lot of benefits…plus those beautiful blue messages that started showing up on my friend’s iPhones 🙂

Yet, over the years, social media has become something that I find myself running to in times of boredom, insecurity, and unfilled desires. It’s easier to run to distractions than it is to just address the problem.

And I think I have a problem. I think we have a problem.

The problem is that we are missing out on life that is happening right in front of us because we are so consumed with capturing the best picture, attaching the most accurate taglines, and accumulating the most likes. And maybe this isn’t your problem, but it is mine.

I’ve found myself desiring to have the best picture, with the filter that makes everything look absolutely perfect, and then adding a clever caption to really seal the deal on those likes. And this always leaves me still wanting and never satisfied.

So with that, I am taking a break from social media. It will be deleted from my phone and my phone will begin to function more and more like a good old fashioned flip phone. And I’m really okay with that.

I’m ok with deleting something from my life that 90% of my friends have because I know there is something better for me. That thing is more of Jesus. And more of life. I know that God has a bigger purpose for me than to spend my life comparing myself to others, seeking more little hearts on Instagram, and trying to post the most clever captions I can think of. I know this because God tells us of a better life, and that is one spent with Jesus.

So this year, I want to spend more time with Jesus, more time doing the things He has made me to do, more time being the person He created me to be and wants me to become, and more time around the people He has placed me with. There is simply more to life than likes.

And friend, there is more in life for you too.